There are so many misconceptions and myths about motherhood in general. It’s supposed to be effortless, endlessly joyful, calm, and rewarding – and it can be these things. But it’s not realistic that moms feel this way all the time. And when you add a history of infertility and loss into the mix – it’s even more complicated. Here are three of the common myths about motherhood after infertility and loss.
You should forget how you became a mother
Okay, so no one says this directly. But there is this expectation, that when you are finally a mom after a long and difficult journey, that you will instantly be happy and carefree. If you’ve experienced this, you are not alone. But one thing is for sure – grief does not just disappear when a child is born. A child does not fix anyone, nor are they expected to. So if you are still trying to process your path to motherhood, you are not alone.
You cannot complain because you wanted your kids so badly
This is one that is both put on my strangers, and self-inflicted. There is this idea out there that when people have fought incredibly hard to become mothers, that they are not allowed to have a range of emotions or find motherhood difficult. It is an impossible standard to live up to, and only makes it more challenging to completely embrace your life as a mom. You are allowed to have all of the emotions – and you deserve the support and understanding to help you accept that.
No one else feels the anxiety you are feeling
There is this internal dialogue that many mothers fall into – telling themselves that they are alone in their feelings, and that they should not express them. That is so unfair, but these intrusive thoughts can be very isolating. When you are struggling to have children, there is so much anxiety around every aspect of that. So when you become a mom, it is completely natural to continue to have these feelings – but in a very different way than before.
If any of this sounds familiar – you are not alone. But you also do not have to deal with this by yourself. You deserve to do something for YOU. And to get you started, make sure to download my FREE guide!
