I was literally about to get on the treadmill to do a walk for my mental (and physical) health, when I saw this comment about IVF on a post I did on Threads:

“It’s [IVF is] not really medically necessary because no one NEEDS a child to live.”

And this needed an immediate response. Not just a response, a blog post. A full explanation, rant, etc., about WHY this person is SO DAMN WRONG.

This person is responding to my post, which explains that IVF is not elective, infertility an actual disease, and if people would finally respect that, IVF would be more accessible and less expensive. A huge part of the problem is that people have so many misconceptions about infertility in general, IVF, surrogacy, and more. Which is a big part of why I will never, ever stop talking about all of it.

When people read what I have to say about it, and tell me I’m wrong – they are not listening. Because it’s not that I’m just stubborn, it’s that I’m correct. Infertility is a disease. IVF is medically necessary.

Infertility is a disease.

And if you’ve gone through infertility, you know that it feels like you DO need a child to live. Infertility does cause people to die through life threatening conditions. But I should not even have to justify that part of it.

People should not have to die from something to make it medically necessary. People should not have to literally die to prove they are worth becoming parents. Most people take parenthood for granted, it’s an assumption. And honestly, I used to feel that way about my own motherhood.

I absolutely assumed I would become a mother one day. In fact, I was taught to actively avoid becoming a mom “too soon”, but never taught that I might have to fight just for the chance to have a child. I was completely blindsided by my infertility diagnoses (I have many), by recurrent pregnancy loss, and more.

IVF Is Medically Necessary.

So to tell someone that IVF is not medically necessary, just because people can technically live without a child – it’s naive. It’s hurtful. It’s apathetic. And honestly, it’s just plain mean.

I wanted to become a mother more than anything in the world. And when I had an even more difficult time having my second son, I felt so much personal guilt and mixed feelings. I desperately wanted another child – which I had every right to want and need – but I felt guilty that I wasn’t just grateful for my one son.

And I got lucky. Well, I got lucky mixed with a lot of medical intervention, huge sums of money, years of loss and hopelessness, and more. But I still would say I got lucky. I have my three boys, and I know how many people are out there, still desperately hoping for a child.

Don’t Hide Behind Your Keyboard.

So no, I don’t agree with that comment. IVF is medically necessary. Infertility is a disease. And I will never stop repeating that until the whole damn world sees I’m right.

I responded to this comment with the following:

“I’m going to guess you’ve never experienced infertility because you have absolutely no idea how wrong you are…”

And guess who didn’t reply back.

Don’t hide behind your keyboard. Stand up for what you say. But also, more importantly, learn to listen. Listen to experiences that are different from your own and learn from them! That’s how we make changes. We speak up for ourselves, we advocate for what we deserve, and we listen.